El mas fiel existencialista...

last post!!!!!!!!

2009-07-01T07:29:00.003-06:00

Este sera mi ultimo post ,

fue un buen viaje .......este post me ayudo en los momentos mas dificiles de mi corta vida, por medio de este conoci a mucha gente de muchos lados,

Gracias Kaludia Medrano (mariposita hermosa) gracias a todos los que se tomaron unos minutos para comentar o responder mis comentarios,

Gracias Zulema Orozco (ameluzita), gracias por ensenarme y darme los mese mas lindos y dulces.....

Gracias Jesus Alfredo Reyes-Ramirez Ochoa (fosyjunior) por aguantar , soportar y crecer mas con cada dia, cada lagrima, cada minuto de soledad, cada tarde/noche de vela y desesperanza.......

todos somos actores en el gran escenario esta gran obra sin titulo... La Vida.

It,s been a While !!!

2008-10-05T23:46:00.003-06:00

Hello to all ,

I know , I know it’s really been quite some time uh?

But then again nothing interesting enough has happened in my life lately … or is it ?

Yes my dear reader but tonight is very different, let me tell you and get you up to speed on what is going on in my poor excuse for a life!

Let’s start from the beginning shall we?

Two months already I’ve been living in my new house with two other best friends Br & Au we shared the rent and the utilities, everything is going pretty well. Also I’m Finaly back to school this semester and doing much better than last one, long road still ahead when it comes to finish this master's MD does not sound bad at all jejeje!

Currently I am verynot so happy in the love department, thus lack of it is present, if anything there is I need more ! Ja, ja, ja. No seriously I am doing pretty bad in that area of my life.

Also I meet this fried that besides her immensely and provocatively beauty, she’s super chatty and nice, never a dull moment around her, always a smile on her face, killer body omg! I will definitely have to say that her eyes are the most exquisite vision of serenity and sedating therapy you will ever need.

To tell the truth a little sadness overcomes my heart because “Br” is leaving soon for Guadalajara, he’s been offered a new job.

I just got a call from “Au” from the looks of it; he’s lost the job at GE. First thing tomorrow I will get to that since it is late tonight.

And speaking of old friends one of my best girlfriend called me on Friday to ask me if I could go and comfort her due to the fact that apparently one of her sister’s past away, not really sure what happened since she didn’t return my calls. Probably I should not see her anymore , I don’t want for her to get the wrong idea.

Tonight; Sondre Lerche owns my musical space.

Until next time friend!!!

Ps : “DAN IN REAL LIFE” it’s a great movie if you have a change to rent it do it , you won’t regret it

Lost and Found.

2008-02-06T16:22:00.000-07:00

I wish a simple wish...
I wish a simple wish and a song...
I wish a simple wish and a sad song...
I wish a simple wish and a sad song about you...

I hope...
I hope, I never feel...
I hope, I never feel the way I know you felt...
I hope, I never feel the way I know you felt when I said all those things...

I know...
I know you will never understand...
I know you will never understand why I said that...
I know you will never understand why I said that you should bury me...

The simple wish: " Please fairy god mother make HER HAPPY"
The only hope: "ONE DAY SHE WILL FIND SOMEBODY THAT LOVES AS MUCH AS I DID"
The only truth: " I LOVE HER, BUT I CAN'T BE NEAR HER"
ONE NEVER KNOWS WHAT ONE'S HAS, UNTIL YOU HAVE LOST IT....

If you can't leave it be, might as well make it bleed

2007-07-22T10:09:00.000-06:00

What you found sure upset you .Never sat it coming did you?
It's easy to be surprised With both your eyes sewn closed Handled with great precisionAnother faultless execution

You're the subject of this exhibition A willing cadaver, a willing cadaver Scalpled, stutured, made whole again

These cuts are leaving crease Trace the scars, fir the pieces To tell your story, you don't need to say a word Call off the cavalryYou can't save a wretch like me Clean this with kerosene

If you can't leave it be, might as well make it bleed

Scalpled, stutured, made whole again Your wires are frayed, can't fire right You look better when out of sight You were not made to stand and fight
There's something better wrong with you Your pulse is anemic, you're tired of the fire You're bruising too easy, and falling behind
And no one is waiting for you Call off your quarentine You can't save the rest from me Clean this with kerosene

If you can't leave it be, might as well make it bleed

2007-06-09T10:50:00.000-06:00

confusion
missunderstanding
ne parle pass

!@!$#%$^%^^^%&$*%(*&*&)(*_+(*^&$% $!

ME/YO

2006-10-08T08:18:00.000-06:00

this is me the real me //este soy yo de ade veras

2006-10-04T20:23:00.000-06:00

Step one you stay with me to talk, he walks.

You say: sit down it" s just a talk"

Smiles politely back at you; you step politely right on thru.

Some sort of a window to your right, as he goes left, and you stay right.

Between the lines of fear and blame, you began to wonder why you came?

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend, so we ' re alone in bitterness, and I would stay up with you all nigh had known I' d have saved a life.

Let him know that you know best, cause after all you do know best

Tried to slip past his defense without granting innocence, Laid down a list of what is wrong, things you told him all along, pray to god he hears you and I pray to god he hears you.

As he begins to raise his voice, you lower yours.Grant him one last joy.

Drive until you loose the road a break with the ones you follow he Could do one of two things: you will admit to every thing ,I cant say he's just not the same ,and you' ll begin to wonder why you came?

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend so we're alone in the bitterness , and I would staid up with you all nigh had I known I'd have saved a life

24 hrs ago / hace 24 horas

2006-09-16T21:00:00.000-06:00

Twenty-four oceans,
Ttwenty-four skies,
Twenty-four failures in twenty-four tries.

Twenty-four finds me in twenty-fourth place,
With twenty-four dropouts at the end of the day.

Life is not what I thought it wasTwenty-four hours ago.

Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You.

And I'm not who I thought I wasTwenty-four hours ago

Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You.

Twenty-four reasons to admit that I'm wrongWith all my excuses still twenty-four strong.

I am the second man,
I am the second man now,
I am the second man now , And You're raising these twenty-four voices With twenty-four hearts.

With all of my symphonies in twenty-four parts But I want to be one today Centered and trueI want to see miracles.
To see the world changeI wrestled the angel For more than a name
For more than a feeling.
For more than a cause Singing Spirit take me up in arms with You

Run/ Corre

2006-08-13T21:36:00.000-06:00

I 'll sing it one last time for you,
Then we really have to go.
You've been the only thing that's right In a life time .
And I can barely look at you But every single time I do ,
I know we'll make it anywhere Away from here

Light up, light up . As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice.
I'll be right beside you dear Louder louder And we'll run for our lives.
I can hardly speak ,
I understand Why you can't raise your voice to say To think I might not see those eyes.
Makes it so hard not to cryAnd as we say our long goodbye, I nearly do , Light up, light up As if you have a choice,
Even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear , Louder louder And we'll run for our lives , I can hardly speak , I understand Why you can't raise your voice to say Slower slower We don't have time for that All.
I want is to find an easier way To get out of our little heads Have heart my dear We're bound to be afraid Even if it's just for a few days Making up for all this mess .

light up, light upAs if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear, my voiceI'll be right beside you, dear

Enough!!!!!!!!
sorry !!!!!
I translate tomorrow , when tears stop hitting the keyboard .
I will feel better tomorow ...... I think?!?!?!?

Everything will Change/ Todo Cambiara

2006-08-08T19:17:00.000-06:00

If you just walked away.
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
Would it change how you feel?
I am the mess you chose. The closet you cannot close,
The devil in you , I suppose. Cause the wounds never heal.

But everything changes. If I could turn back the years
If you could learn to forgive me Then I could learn to feel.

Sometimes the things I say, In moments of disarray Succumbing to the games we play .To make sure that it's real. When it's just me and you. Who knows what we could do!!!!!!

If we can just make it through .The toughest part of the day.
Stay here together,And we could Conquer the world
If we could Say that forever Is more than just a word.
**********************************************************************************

Y si tan solo te alejaras.
Que te podria decir?
En verdad importaria?
Cambiaria como te sientes?
Soy el desastre que tu formamaste. El armario que nunca podras cerar,
el mal dentro de tu supongo, porque las heridas nunca sanaran.

Pero las cosas cambian . si yo pudiera retrasar los anios ,
si tu aprendieras a perdonar , entonces yo aprenderia a sentir.

Algunas veces las cosas que digo en momentos de caos y desorden sucumbiendo a los juegos que solemos jugar ,asegurandonos de que es real , cuando seamos solo tu y yo .Quien sabe que podriamos lograr!!!!

Si tan solo podieramos logar pasar por la parte mas dura del dia,
y estar aqui juntos podriamos conquistar el mundo , si pudieramos decir que para siempre es mas que una frase trillada .

Swing Life Away.......> Vida Simpre Facil !!!

2006-07-26T16:35:00.000-06:00

Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?.
Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?
I'll show you mine if you show me yours first,Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse.
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words,We live on front porches and swing life away,We get by just fine here on minimum wage , If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand.

I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move .
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon ,Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow.
I've got some friends, some that I hardly knowBut we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world.
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go, We live on front porches and swing life away,We get by just fine here on minimum wage.
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand....until you hold my hand.

fosyjunior06"

***********************************************************************************

Me escuchas fuerte y claro, o no me entiendes ?
Todavia soy tu amuleto , o ya solo te estorbo?
Nos vamos acecando o cada vez estamos mas perdidos?

Te muestro la mia ,si tu me muestras la tuya primero. comparemos cicatricez y te dire cual es la peor. vamos borarndo estas paginas y las llenamos con nuestras propias ideas. viviremos en casas con espacio para correr de nuestras vidas . alfin que viviremos pasandola con el sueldo minimo.

Si el amor es un trabajo me esclavizare por ti. nunca cruzare esta calle hasta que tu tomes mi mano para ayudarme.el invierno ya esta aqui y es muy frio , el verano se acabo muy pronto, nos iremos a vivir a un lugar calido con palmeras , aire tibio humedo y brisa fresca.

Acordandonos de amigos que nunca conocimos , aquellos tiempos nunca se olvidaran y no los cambiaria por nada del mundo. Nunca cruzare esta calle hasta que tu tomes mi mano para ayudarme.

fosyjunior 06"

Forget the world !! just for me !!! please !!! I stil love you!

2006-07-23T21:17:00.000-06:00

We'll do it all

Everything On our own.

We don't need Anything Or anyone .

If I lay here, If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know .

How to say How I feel.

Those three words!!!

Are said too much They're not enough.

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told !!!!

Before we get too old !!!

Show me a garden that's bursting into life.

Let's waste time Chasing cars Around our heads I need your grace To remind me To find my own.

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told Before we get too old .

Show me a garden that's bursting into life . All that I am , All that I ever was , Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see .

I don't know where Confused about how as well ,Just know that these things will never change for us at all.

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????

**************************************************************************************

Lo haremos todo!todo sin ayuda!

Solos sin ayuda de nadie o nada...,nada !!!

Si me acuesto aqui , si solo me tiro aqui . te recuestarias conmigo y olvidarias el mundo??

En verdad no se .

Como decir como me siento.

Esas tres palabras!!!!

Talvez ya dije demasiadooooo.

Si me acuesto aqui , si solo me tiro aqui . te recuestarias conmigo y olvidarias el mundo??

Olvida lo que se nos ha dicho !!!

Antes de que seamas demasiado viejos!!!

Prefiero un jardin explotando con vida y colores

Perdamos el tiempo correteando suenos alrededor de nuestro cabello , necesito tu gracias para Recordarme y encontrar lo mio.

Si me acuesto aqui , si solo me tiro aqui . te recuestarias conmigo y olvidarias el mundo??

**************************************Y todo lo que algún día fui,
*****************************Todo lo que algún día hubiera sido,
*****************************Todo lo que pronto algún día será,
**************************Es todo lo que este día puedo ver aquí
***************** En tus perfectos ojos, es todo lo aquel día veré.
****Cuando cierres tus ojos y nunca aquel día veras llorar más.

No se donde , y cunfundido acerca de como tambien , solo se que estas cosas nunca cambiaran

Para nosotros en lo absoluto , nunca en lo absoluto.

Si me acuesto aqui , si solo me tiro aqui . te recuestarias conmigo y olvidarias el mundo??

NO TE VAYAS,,, porfavor ... do not leave me !!

2006-06-12T12:41:00.000-06:00

Consider the odds, consider the obvious.

The martyr is meaningless,

the campaign has died.

In the planning stages and the fallen faces are the singular proof that it was ever alive.
This purchased rebellion has been outdated, denounced and rescinded and left to die championless.

I begged you not to go.

I begged you, I pleaded.

Claimed you as my only hope and watched the floor as you retreated.

Hope has sprung a perfect dive a perfect day, a perfect lie.

A slowly crafted monologue conceding your defeat.

Does it comfort you to know you fought the good fight? Basking in your victory, hollow and alone to boast your bitter bragging rights to anyone who'll listen. While you're left with nothing tangible to gain.

lo que simpre de dice !! que te digo si me conoces?

2006-05-30T12:25:00.000-06:00

Which of the bold faced lies will we use?

I hope that you're happy, you really deserve it, this will be the best for us both in the end. But your taste still lingers on my lips like I just placed them upon yours and I starve for you. But this new diet's liquid and dulling to the senses. And it's crude but it will do.
Which of the standard lines will we use?
I've been meaning to call you.
I've just been so busy.?
We'll catch up soon.?

Let's make it a point to

Your eyes say the jokes on me.But, I'm not laughing

2006-05-10T08:34:00.000-06:00

This is where I say I've had enoughAnd no one should ever feel the way that I feel now.
A walking open wound, a trophy display of bruises And I don't believe that I'm getting any better.
Any better.
Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring And I'm thinking awful thingsI'm pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment is starving for an argument.!!!!!
Anything at all to break the silence.!!!!!

Wandering this house like I've never wanted outAnd this is about as social as I get now.
And I'm throwing away the letters that I am writing youCause they would never do, I would never do.
NeverWaiting here with hopes the phone will ringAnd I'm thinking awful thingsI'm pretty sure that few would notice.

And this apartment is starving for an argument.Anything at all to break the silence.
So don't be a liarDon't say that"everything's working" when everything's broken

your eyes say the jokes on me.But, I'm not laughing You're not leaving Who do I think I am kidding?When I'm the only one locked in this hellWaiting here with hopes the phone will ring

And I'm thinking awful thingsI'm pretty sure that few would notice.

And this apartment is starving for an argument.Anything at all to break the silence.So don't be a liarDon't say that "everything's working" when everything's broken.
And your eyes say the jokes on me.!!!!
***************************************************************************
I will translate tomorrow ........ I hope !!!! to much pain rigth now!!!!!!!!
-***************************************************************************

Otra vez paso desapercibido !

2006-04-10T21:38:00.001-06:00

So quiet !!!
another wasted night,the television steals the conversation
exhale,another wasted breath,again it goes unnoticed.

Please tell me you're just feeling tired
cause if it's more than that, I feeel that I might breakout of touch, out of time.

Please send me anything but signals that are mixed casue I can't read your rolling eyes out of touch, are we out of time?

Close lipped another goodnight kissis robbed of all it's passion,your grip another time, is slackit leaves me feeling empty.

I'll wait until tomorrow maybe you'll feel better then maybe we'll be better then.

so what's another day when I can't bear these nights of thoughts of going on without you this mood of yours is temporary, it seems worth the wait to see your smile again out of the corner of your eye won't be the only way you'll look at me then.

**************************************************************************************

que silencio!

otra noche sin pena ni gloria, la television nos roba la conversacion.
exalo , otro suspiro que se desperdicia , que pasa dasapercibido.

porfavor dime que solo estas cansada, porque si es algo mas ,juro que me desconectare y gaste mi tiempo.

dime algo , mandame lo que sea ...pero ya no senales mixtas . no puedo leer tus miradas desviadas hacia el techo cuando te comento algo. se nos acabo el tiempo?

con los labios cerrados otro beso de buenas noches que le has robado toda la pasion te vas a otro tiempo , medejas con enorme sensacion de vacio.

esperare hasta manana tal vez te sientas mejor talvez manana estemos mejor.

que mas da un dia mas , que mas da un momento mas de cargar con estos pensamientos tormentosos de poder seguir sin ti .

este mal humor tuyo es pasajero ,

valdria la pena esperar tu sonrisa de nuevo para que me mires de nuevo con franqueza y no solo con esa mirada de reojo con la que me dices buenas noches .
y manana me veras diferente? con franqueza?

the saddest song....la cancion mas triste

2006-04-10T21:38:00.000-06:00

I'm missing your bedI never sleepAvoiding the spots where we'd have to speak,And this bottle of beastIs taking me home

I'm cuddling closeTo blankets and sheetsBut you're not alone, and you're not discreetMake sure I know who's taking you home.
I'm reading your note over againThere's not a word that I comprehend,Except when you signed it"I will love you always and forever."

Well As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songsAnd sit alone and wonderHow you're making outBut as for me, I wish that I was anywhere with anyoneMaking out.I'm missing your laughHow did it break?And when did your eyes begin to look fake?I hope you're as happy as you 're pretending.

I am aloneIn my defeat I wish I knew you were safely at homeI'm missing your bedI never sleepAvoiding the spots where we'd have speak, andThis bottle of beast is taking me home.
Your hair, it's everywhere.Screaming infidelitiesAnd taking its wear.

************************************************************************************

Extrano tu cama , ya never duermo , ademas evito las partes donde soliamos hablar, solo esta botella endiablada me acompana a mi casa.

Por mas que me acurroco a almohadas y sabanas . No estas alli , pero tu no estas sola y nisiquiera eres discreta simpre te asuguras de que me de I know que alguien te lleva a tu casa.

Por mas que lea tu recado una y otra vez , no entiendo , no comprendo solo entiendo cuando firmas " te amare simpre y por siempre".

De ahora en delante solo escuchare las canciones mas tristes y sentarme en la mesa solo pensando como te va ? en lo que ami respecta solo me gustaria estar con alguien con quien sea solo estar besando a alguien quien sea no importa .

Extrano tu risa cuando ceso? y cuando comenzaste a verme con falsedad, solo espero que seas tan feliz como you pretend hacerme ver .

Aqui estoy solo com mi derrota . desearia saber que estas bien, alone en tu casa !! por mas que me acurroco a almohadas y sabanas . No estas alli , pero tu no estas sola y ni siquiera eres discreta simpre te asuguras de que me de cuenta que alguien te lleva a tu casa.

Tus cabellos siguen en todos lados en mi cama , en mi bano , en mi ropa. everywhere!! ,
ME GRITAN QUE FUISTE INFIEL .. y eso cada day me desgasta mas .

fosyjunior 06"

all has gone wrong...todo ha salido mal...

2006-04-03T18:50:00.000-06:00

So this is odd, the painful realization that has all gone wrong.
And nobody cares at all, and nobody cares at all.
So you buried all your lover's clothes and burned the letters lover wrote, but it doesn't make it any better.

Does it make it any better?

And the plaster dented from your fist in the hall where you had your first kiss reminds you that the memories will fade.
So this is strange, our sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance where nobody leads at all, where nobody leads at all.
And the picture frames are facing down and the ringing from this empty sound is deafening and keeping you from sleep. And breathing is a foreign task and thinking's just too much to ask and you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights.

This is incredible. Starving, insatiable, yes, this is love for the first time. Well you'd like to think that you were invincible. Yeah, well weren't we all once before we felt loss for the first time? Well this is the last time.

*************************************************************************************
Que raro. la dolorosa recapacitacion de que todo ha salido mal.
Y a nadie le importa ..a nadie le importa.
Entierras todas las prendas de mi amada, queme las cartas que ella escribio pero nada mehace sentir mejor

Nada te hace sentir mejor?

Y el yeso abollado del pasillo por mi puno , donde te di el primer beso me recuerdan que las memorias desvaneceran.

Que extrano nuestro deslizar se ha convertido en un baile brillante dende nadie tiene que seguir a nadie , nadie tiene que seguir a nadie.

Y tus fotos estan boca abajo en el buro , y el ensordecedor ruido del silencio me mantiene sin dormir. Respirar es una tarea dura de hacer y pesar es demasiado pedir en este momento. mido los minutos por un reloj que parpadea solo cuatro numeros ochos.

Es increible, hambriento , insaciable si este fue mi primer amor , cuando pensabas que eras invencible , Aja !! asi lo pensamos todos antes de vernos perdidos por primera vez
esta sera la ultima vez !

Jirón de un domingo en la tarde

2006-03-18T10:29:00.003-07:00

Este es especial pues es 26 del mes transcurrido
dejando atras las ganas de llorar tupido
los meses se acomulan uno tras otro como libros olvidados
siguen vigentes los sentimientos de vacios desolados.

3:53... el hambruna ataca mi estomago con impetu.

urgo entre la despensa ; tropiezo con pan, queso y carne!

esto saciara el vacio de mi carne , pero el de mi espiritu?.

4:29...ansias de saber de ti me invaden sin contencion.

como me gustaria al menos pasar a tu lado.

anque despues caiga aun mas al fondo de mi situacion.

un amigo me rescata de este viaje frustrado.

7:09...roco se ha cansado de jugar, opta por beber.

a su vez lo acompanio con un trago de vino fiel.

me mira mientras bebe y parece que me anima a volver a querer .

porque la soleda cala mas que mil navajas en la piel.

cala tanto que parece que nunca va acabar.

asi que con agallas, aprender a vivir solo es lo que debes hacer.

8:46...una llamada!!! alguien se comunica conmigo...!

nada. Numero equivocado aqui no vive Remigio.!?

tropiezo cada paso con un gris recuerdo de tu ser .

de la cocina ala sala, tantas cosas de las que me debo deshacer.

10:11:58..la hora de la red ..ahora comienzo a escribir.

no quedadan mas ganas de sonreir.

solo queda mi nostalgia y soledad almenos hasta que me doblege el dormir.

12:19...no puedo mas debo llorar.

me desmorono cerca de la cama helada.

solo asi libero el dolor de mi andar.

me hace reaccionar una cucharada de mermelada.

seco mis lagrimas y derramo la leche de Roco.

12:21...trapeo el tiradero

sirvo un poco mas al fregadero

ya no hay leche , tendre que comprar manana

vaya manera de empezar la semana!!!.

1:09...me despido , tratare de dormir un poco

en este 26 de mes que corre como loco

tratando de dejar atras ya 6 meses de no tenerte

pensandolo bien no estoy tan solo...uno no esta donde el cuerpo sino donde mas se extrana
y yo te extrano tanto que parece que sigues aqui.

fosyjunior 06"

Have You Ever...???

2006-03-18T10:29:00.002-07:00

Acabo de pasar un tiempo lejos de la la ciudad y lejos de tood lo que me hace recordar
es facil entender porque la gente del campo es mas tranquila , mas paciente , mas relajada .

Una vez que experimentas la sensacion de paz que provoca ver el cielo totalmente estrellado y el ruido de el agua en las montanas ademas el de acostarse alas 7:45 de la noche (porque pues ya a oscurecido y no hay nada que hcer) entiendes que la vida es demasiado generosa para contigo al darte la oportunidad de estar alli.

Lamentablemente he regresado y al entrar a mi casa me topo de nuevo con todo aquello que me hace pensar y recordar (estamos de acuerdo que recoradr es volver a vivir verdad?) lo

Primero que percibi al pisar mi casa fue:

El olor a vacio , a nadie , a como cuando entras a una bodega que solo tiene cajas.(mis ojos se entristecieron ).

Lo segundo que vi fue:

La estufa y el refrigerador nuevos todavia en su empaque original (esto fue lo que compre ultimo , era para los dos , se suponia que era el principio de nuestro hogar )(mis animos cayeron al suelo y mi ojos se llenaron de agua.

Lo tercero que toque fue :

Mi cama con sabanas de franela rojas y almahoadas de color negro(no es necesario que diga que allli llore a todo pulmon .....nadie me esperaba , nadie estaba alli con la sabanas tibias a mi regreso ).

Lo cuarto que probe fue:

Un pan tostado con ajo , tomate , aceite de oliva y jamon serrano , ademas de un vaso de vino tinto que me traje de barcelona (esto me hizo volver a mi control de esto que me invade a veces como un cancer "soledad y nostalgia " ) tambien me dio suficiente fuerzas como para levantarme hoy y poder decir :

" EL SOL SALE AUNQUE YO CIERRE LAS CORTINAS Y MAS VALE QUE USE SUS RAYOS DE ARMONIOSO CALOR PARA SACUDIR LAS CAPAS DE HIELO QUE CIÑE CON SUS BRAZOS MIS GANAS DE VOLVER A SALIR ADELANTE . PERO DIA CON DIA , POCO A POCO ,LENTAMENTE , RESPIRO A RESPIRO SE RESQUEBRAJARAN ANTE MIS OJOS" .

FOSYJUNIOR 06"

La Vida Sin MI

2006-03-12T20:21:00.000-07:00

Me pregunto como sera la vida sin MI? , se lo que es la vida sin ti ,pero y sin MI?
Ha de ser fria , porque el frio de la noche malluga la carne hasta dejarla sin sensacion , tambien ha de ser en blanco y negro porque el color se opaca ante la capa de polvo que se forma cuando no limpiamos "nuestras cosas". Debe ser aburrida porque esa chispa de mi inprovisionismo y a veces sarcasmo fino no esta mas alli..(ni aqui conmigo quien sabe donde lo guarde alo mejor lo tire junto con tus cosas que quedaba por aqui u lo destroze junto con el reloj despertador y el florero azul con gelatina verde ? nose ?).

Debe ser hasta monotona , pues no haces mas las famosas "citas con riesgo" {creo que esboze una sonrisa u algo parecido }apuesto a que siempre haces lo mismo de comida pues ya no sales mas a cenar a lugares diferentes auque nunca quisiste probar "sushi"

Quisiera pensar que es sin sexo ......Pero seamos realistas eres mujer ......Eres muy hermosa....y ademas....siempre dije que culaquiera se sentiria afortunado de recorrer tu piel trigeña , cintura y caderas bien definidas (aunque a mi favor te citare y escribire lo que simpre me decias{Que importa ya...no creo que leas esto y por favor si lo haces no me mal interpretes , no busco ventilar nunguna intimidad solo quiero reparar un poco mi ego ok ?} "Nadie !,Ninguno!,Nunca!" ).

De algo estoy seguro la vida sin MI..tampoco es vida. Asi como la vida sin ti , yo la considero murte.
Pero que es la muerte ...? segun las sagradas escrituras judeocristinistas :

"La muerte solo es un sueno".

Necesito despertar YA!!

fosyjunior 06"

2006-03-09T23:41:00.000-07:00

se van las ganas....

porque se van las ganas? cuando no tienes ganas.
las ganas se la lleva alguien?algo?se quedan en la casa ?en el carro?

ya no tengo ganas !

ganas de comer...

ganas de reir...

ganas de hacer cosas que antes hacia..

ganas de vivir...

ganas de comer helado...

ganas de caminar por el parque..

ganas de ir al teatro...

ganas de cenar en un restaurante romatico...

ganas de pasear por la ciudad buscando rincones obscuros....

te has llevado mis ganas ... necesito mis ganas...no puedo mas !!!quiero reir, quiero amar,quiero ser feliz .

sin ganas , duele levantarse cada mañana,duelen tanto las sonrisas,pesan los parpados,cuesta un mundo respirar ,como siempre hoy estoy pensando en ti.

fosyjunior 06"

lecciones duras de aprender

2006-03-08T00:51:00.000-07:00

Aprecia lo que tienes !valora lo que das por hecho!
llegara el dia en que vuelvas la mirada y con amargura
susurres al olvido"Yo solia ser feliz"
Siempre tendras codicia y recelo por lo que has perdido o talvez tu mismo orillaste a huir !! Mas no temas , no tiembles todo debe regresar , todo lo que sube debe bajar no?
No!! hay cosas que no se pueden regresar : como el tiempo en que pensabas soy pleno ,soy feliz ,soy Yo..Eso mi hermano eso nunca regresara jamas volveras a sentir el calor del sol..tu sol con aroma suave y voz dulce , radiacion tan suave que parece que deshiela tus animos frios .
Se humilde agradece la oportunidad de compartir ....problemas ....exitos...fracasos..alegrias....besos...
Ama , quiere, estima, cela, pelea, sufre pero .... hermano nunca ,nunca olvides .
Es verdad el pasto simpre es mas verde del lado del vecino..La plenitud desmerita los pequeños logros si nunca has sufrido hambre no apreciaras un bocado de pan. Si nuca has sufrido sed no apreciaras un vaso de agua. Si nuca has sufrido soledad nunca valoraras la amistad menos el amor de otro ser humano,

fosyjunior 06"

De donde viene la soledad ???

2006-03-06T14:33:00.000-07:00

De donde viene la soledad ??? buena pregunta !!!!

Acaso viene de un lugar tan lejos que nadie puede llegar... y por eso necesita infectar a las personas y asi no ser soledad?

Talvez venga de abajo donde ni la luz del sol le muestra que esta sola y por eso se apega a nosotros buscando compania?

A lo mejor desciende desde muy alto alado de las estrellas envidiosa de sus demas companeras que juegan con asteroides y polvo cosmico ?

Es probable que siempre halla permanecido aqui con nosotros... y cansada de ver" ir" y "venir" gente se halla perdido entre la multitud y nos la hemos topado cara a cara nosotros?

No!!!!!! la soledad no viene de ningun lado ...no la trae nadie...no viene sola...no aparece de repente como animal que asecha a presa... no , la soledad esta en nosotros ....dentro muy dentro esperando mostrarse cuando menos lo esperas. entrar en tus ojos para decirte lo que no quieres oir o talvez lo que nadie te quiere mencionar "estas solo y alas personas que les importas de verdad ,en este momento nisiquiera piensan en ti"

Y que tal si la soledad no existe ? que tal si es solo un invento de nosotros para encubrir miedo a la gente que sabemos nos va a amar o lastimar ....?

fosyjunior06"